Reading: Romans 7
Along with my morning Bible readings, I'm reading a book called Get Lost: Your Guide To Finding True Love by Dannah Gresh. I normally do not associate both readings with each other because they are not connected except today's. Romans 7 talks about how the law helped us notice our sin but also was the cause of sin. That chapter contains the well known jibber-jabber Paul does on wanting to do what is right but he does what is wrong. The full quote is
" I want to do what is right, but I can't. I want to do what is good, but I don't. I don't want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. But if I do what I want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong, it is sin living in me that does it."
I initially was not going to talk about this quote but I am feeling the need to. Therefore, my daily devotion on Ahabah & God's love will be a different post. Moving on with the quote I am going to divide it into sections and just ponder about it and see how it applies to my life.
I want to do what is right, but I can't. I want to do what is good, but I don't. This is definitely true because even I experience this. I will say I would not get mad and run my mouth when my mom annoys me and then she annoys me and here I am being disrespectful. Recently, I am learning that it is not in humans to do the right or good thing, but if we want to we have to discipline ourselves. It is not just a cheesy quote you tell yourself in the morning and then go about your day it is something you have to put effort into. I always thought of myself as a good person because I keep quiet, I stay in my place and I hate fighting but recently ( a lot is happening recently Helene lol) I am checking my heart and realizing that is what makes me a good person, my heart and not my actions. As my last blog said, the Holy Spirit changes you from the inside out. No change happens from the outside in (well not that I am aware of). In Matthew 23:25 (read a bit in the beginning for more context) Jesus is talking about this and in fact is calling the Pharisees out for polishing their outside appearance but not working on their insides. Topics like this is what always get me iffy because if I do not always check in on myself I may lose the true purpose of why I do these blogs. I do catch myself once in awhile worrying about how many people liked my pictures on social media or how are people reacting to my new blog. I always have to tell myself to back off and I am doing this so I can grow in Christ and so others may as well. Keeping myself in check is something I do more often recently. I also have moments where I just do not want to keep myself in check because somewhere deep down my human nature is enjoying the wrong things. I always beat myself down for that but I just have try to talk myself out of it. Normally telling myself "a godly person would have the fear of God" and from there I question myself and think about God watching me which will lead me to stop.
I don't want to do what is wrong but I do it anyway. This goes hand in hand with what I was just thinking about. I am a human and sometimes I turn a blind eye to certain things I do because it feels good in the moment. Despite knowing it is not good, I will continue and probably bury myself deep into it. I have a tendency to beat myself down really hard for things I do that I know are wrong..I'm still learning how to pick myself up from those deep holes I make for myself.
But if I do what I want to do, I am not the one really doing wrong, it is sin living in me that does it. This is the puzzle I feel like I am missing when I have a big slip-up. I look at myself, beat myself down and that is exactly what the Devil wants me to do, to place a wedge between God and I. That is impossible (Romans 8:31-39), well it is possible if I allow it but God has given us the tools to pick ourselves up, all I just have to do is remember Him and His love. Paul says it is the sin in him that follows human nature well I know from the top of my head that God loved me so much that he sent His Son to die for me on the cross. Him dying on the cross have set me free from sin and I am no longer bounded. So when I slip up, I need to remember that God have set me free from that sin and did not give me a Spirit of fear therefore, I should be able to shake the chains off of me, ask for forgiveness and live my life like someone who have been set free. This whole process should just bring me right back to God and even closer because I should be grateful for his unfailing and undeserving grace He has for me
This has been an interesting train of thoughts and to be honest I needed this because of recent circumstances. It feels like God knew I would put myself down or just do something wrong so He made me read this chapter and made me be so intrigued by Paul's quote.